A Question of Survival
by Sneezy
Summary: Negi/Nodoka. Nodoka POV. One remote possibility for a hookup. Although it seems that high time-compression training is a possibility. Most likely won't be continued.
1. Chapter 1

**A Question of Survival**

A MSN AU starting at the end of volume 18 / end of Term 1.

* * *

My alarm goes off, I stop it, and groggily sit up in bed. I haven't been sleeping well at all this week, but it wasn't a surprise. So much had been happening in the last little while. Just thinking about it made my head feel a bit wobbly sometimes.

Finding out that one of our classmates had planned an attempt to expose the secret of the magical world: and I hadn't even known there was a magical world before the start of this term.

Fighting with a Cerebus-like dog and being sure I was going to be killed by it on the way to save my teacher.

Jumping in front of a bullet meant for my teacher, even if it was just going to send me forward three hours into the future.

Sometimes it's all a bit much. I'm shy and quiet, and clumsy. I study hard when I can. Before this term, I was a normal girl. Well, a normal bookworm anyway. I suppose that the library where I spent so much time was strange, and a bit dangerous, but I don't think I'm a very adventurous girl.

Now, my class rank is probably dropping. I'm still studying hard, but now it's magic, not schoolwork. I've been involved in some adventures that, looking back on them, I find hard to believe.

And with sensei… it seems that he is at the center of all these things.

I think the times I've been proudest of myself have been when I've been with Negi-sensei. I used my pactio item to help save him from Kotaro-kun the first time they met each other and fought.

In a way, I still don't believe that I really confessed to him. Twice even.

Maybe it's really only troublesome for him, and a real bother, but now I can always encourage myself. If something is hard, I can always think "Miyazaki Nodoka, you are an ultra-shy girl, but you confessed to Negi-sensei, the boy you love. Do your best!"

And it seems to work.

Of course, it maybe would have been nice for him to respond. Yue telling him that I would wait until the end of school… well, of course I'll happily wait for him. But I can't help but feel that the others, if it takes another 3 years, another girl will be his love.

I may have been the first to confess to him, but compared to the other girls in the class, I'm nothing special. I'm not as smart as some girls, or even Yue. I'm nothing like as athletic as some of the other girls. I'm not beautiful, or refined, or rich, or artistic. I certainly can't fight the way that some of the others can.

So, I can't help but feel that other girls will become his partners as well, and even if I love him more now, once the others become more interested in him, it will be one of the special ones that catches his eye.

Even Yue, when she talks with him, can have discussions that make me talking with him about books seem shallow. The sort of thing a little girl would do.

And then sometimes I have thoughts about him that don't seem right for me to have, because he's young, and I'm young too, and maybe I should be more of a lady somehow. But…

Hee hee…

A week after, and thinking about the kiss I have him at the festival, and I still blush.

Eh, but look at the time! I have to hurry now, or I'll be late.

Ok, Nodoka, try your hardest again today!

When I get to my locker, I open it to take out my shoes, and a letter falls out. It's silly, but my heart leaps up into my throat, because it's from Negi.

It's asking me to meet him at Evangeline's Cottage to discuss something important. Other than the location, this is strangely like a dream I had one day when I fell asleep next to the lockers near the start of term.

But it's an odd request. Maybe it's the recent betrayal of Chao, but I can't help but feel a bit suspicious.

Still, if it really is Negi, I don't want to be late. So I slip my outdoor shoes back on and hurry out towards Evangeline's cottage.

When I arrive there, I find most of the rest of the class milling around outside: confused, and talking loudly.

"Umm… ummm…" I try to get someone's attention, but other than Yue, the rest ignore me.

"You got a letter too, Honya?" she asks.

"It seems that I did. And everyone else?"

"Mmm…" she indicates, looking around.

"Maybe, maybe one of us should go and try to find Sensei, or another teacher?" I ask.

She looks around and gestures to me "Let's go Honya, there's something strange happening."

We turn and start to walk away, back towards the school. As is usual with our class, I don't think anyone sees us leave.

I turn to Yue as we walk, but I see something flash out of the corner of my eye.

I throw myself in front of her before I know what I'm doing.

Sometime later, I slowly open my eyes, and find myself looking up at the ceiling of Evangeline's cottage, and a small ring of faces.

"Thank goodness, Honya, you really scared us," says Konoka.

"What… what happened," I mumble. My head hurts and my shoulder feels like it's on fire. It seems I have a temperature as well.

"You were attacked," says T. sensei. I'm a bit surprised to see him here.

"Actually, it was me that was attacked," says Yue. She's kneeling next to me, holding onto my hand. "Until you threw yourself in the way, you idiot."

"Ohh…" I smile at her. "I'm glad you aren't hurt."

Her grip tightens on my hand.

"Idiot! If Konoka hadn't been right there to heal you, you might have died."

"Died?" I say, weakly. I feel my head start to swim, and I close my eyes.

I hear the others murmuring, and people walking away. But I still feel Yue holding my hand.

"What's happening, Yue?"

I feel her leaning a bit closer.

"We've been trapped. Most of the other girls are watching a movie on a big screen somewhere in a basement to keep them inside. But the girl who kicked you, she's from the future like Chao was."

"Why has she trapped us?"

"Chao just wanted to expose us all, this girl wants to kill Negi and all of the rest of us. Something about cleansing the time stream, but I couldn't hear her very well."

"K… kill us?" I stutter. "Where's Negi-san?"

"He's trapped here too," Yue mutters. "He's inside the time compression room, training."

My heart sinks. "So… ummm… how's this girl intending to… K…kill us, then?"

"Well, we're inside a set of techno-magical wards that the girl keeps adding to, and they're collapsing in on us. T sensei and Negi-san and the rest exhausted themselves trying to break through them, but she just sat outside and laughed, and then added another two layers of wards outside."

"So Negi-san is resting?"

"I think he's training to get stronger, but I'm not sure. Evangeline was pretty secretive about what's going on, but she's in the time compression hideout with him."

"S…so.. what's going to happen?"

"We need to break out, but we need to prevent the others from finding out about magic. We're in a real pinch," she says with a tiny smile.

I shut my eyes and smile too. I remembered ***** saying just that before we found out the dog was an illusion. Maybe we'll get out of this one too.

I hear footsteps, and open my eyes again. It's T-Sensei.

"Nodoka-chan," he says, "you need to know your target's name before you can read their mind, correct?"

"Y..yes, I do," I say. "Sorry!"

He smiles. "Don't worry, it isn't your fault. We were thinking that it would be a real help to get inside this girl's head, but it shouldn't be a problem."

I hear him walk away again.

"I've heard," whispers Yue, "They think they need to find the weak point in the wards. If they don't, even if Negi and T-Sensei can break them, the energy backlash from the second set of wards will incinerate anything inside them. I think Evangeline-san is studying them, but I'm not sure. They're nothing like anything in my magical encyclopaedia, I've checked."

I nod a tiny amount, and drift off back to sleep. I think Negi will save us.

I wake up again, and my head is clearer. My shoulder isn't hurting either, so I take a deep breath, and let it out again.

Ok, Nodoka, time to stop being a burden for people.

And I open my eyes.

I'm inside the time compression training area. I sit up and look around. There's a few people. Asuna seems to be arguing with T-sensei and Evangeline-san.

Yue sees I'm awake, and runs over to me.

"Nodoka-chan," she says, breathless, and grabs my hands in hers.

"Ah, you're awake, weakling," says Evangeline.

"Ahh…" I slump a bit. She doesn't need to be so blunt, does she?

"You're going to have to get up. We've found a solution to our problem, and you're it."

"W… what?" I stammer. Everyone else has fallen silent, and their eyes are on me.

"One," says Evangeline, "we need the ward's weakpoint. Two, to get that, we need you to read this girl's mind outside."

"B..but without her name," I start.

"Shut up, I'm getting to that," says Evangeline. "Three, you'll need a power boost to be able to do that, it's simple. Four, training probably won't help you, because it's an entirely new ability. That's why you aren't in training with Negi-bozou."

There's a pause.

Evangeline walks over.

"Five, the way for you to gain more abilities with your artefact is for you to make a contract with that kid."

"But, I have a contract…."

"We mean a full contract, Nodoka-chan," T sensei says, quietly.

Yue's hands tighten their grip on mine.

"Wha… what…" and then I remember about formal contracts. You become a partner of the mage, get a physical powerup, and an increase to the abilities of your artefact.

But there's usually only one partner unless a mage is really strong.

A partner for life.

Usually you get married.

I…

I can't think.

Evangeline slaps me.

"Look, there's no time to space out, idiot. The wards have collapsed so far that in about 15 minutes time, as it's passing outside this training room, they're going to start crushing my house, and soon after that, it'll be us. Negi-bozou will be here in a couple minutes, and we'll do one of the partner bond rituals with the two of you. It should leave just enough time to refine your ability, get out, and take down those wards."

Partner?

I look towards Yue, I can feel tears starting to well up in my eyes. Maybe it's from the slap.

I'm hurting all over.

Yue has tears in her eyes as well. She must have been expecting this.

Contract?

I'm not ready for that. I can't replace everyone for him. I'll just be useless, and hold him back, and he'll resent it, and hate me.

But he would be mine.

I jerk to my feet, and look around wildly. But it seems that even though there are plenty of my friends around me, at the moment I'm very alone.

Even Yue is looking at me like I've just stolen something from her.

I suppose I have.

All of a sudden, I hear footsteps running up behind me. It must be Negi-sensei. Yue-chan's eyes widen in shock, and so do Asuna's. Konoka looks impressed and giddy. Setsuna looks sick.

Negi-sensei.

I turn around, and then look up at him.

Up.

It looks a bit like he's wearing his more mature 'Nagi' form, but it isn't quite right. He's a bit more gawky, and his face isn't as thin.

"N…N…Negi-sensei," I stutter, and then my eyes meet his.

I think my knees almost gave way just now. Hwa… he's cute.

He smiles at me in a tentative sort of way, and blushes.

I… I think my face is glowing.

I almost miss the angry growling from Asuna as she stomps towards him, but she brushes past me and grabs the front of his shirt.

"Negi, you IDIOT!" she screams, and swings a massive punch at his face.

I don't really see it, but all of a sudden he's under her guard, and hugging the stuffing out of her.

"Hey, Asuna, it's so good to see you! I really missed you!" And then he pops away over to the others, leaving Asuna wobbling unsteadily.

He hugs the others one by one.

He picks Yue up and spins her around in his arms, laughing, leaving her eyes swirling, and an uncertain smile on her lips as he runs back over to me again.

"Eva-Sensei, T-Sensei, we should begin straight away," he says, and grabs onto my hand, pulling me into the center of the room, and almost off my feet.

My feet don't seem to move right.

He turns back to the others.

"Asuna-san, normally I would have let you punch me. I know I sort of deserve it," he says, and reaches up nervously behind his head. "But we're on a pretty tight schedule now, so you'll have to do it later on."

He pulls me over to where Evangeline has already set up a series of magic circles on the floor.

This is Negi-sensei, I keep telling myself.

But it's… scary too.

I see T-sensei herding the others out, and I look down at the intricate rune work on the floor.

Then Evangeline starts the ritual.

Nobody has even asked if I agree to this.

"You… you've been training with a higher time compression?"

"Yeah. It was a bit lonely, but I'll only get one shot at this, and if I made a mistake, or didn't have enough power… Well, it wouldn't be just me. The whole class would end up dead, and I can't take any sort of chance with that."

I start to feel Negi-sensei's magic around me.

"I'm sorry, Nodoka-san, for imposing this on you."

"I really meant that I would do anything to help you," I reply, and smile at him. He's the only one who has said sorry to me at all about this.

And then, all of a sudden, I'm drowning in a sea of magic.

When I surface again, I'm cradled in Negi-sensei's arms, still in the magic circle.

And I can feel him all around me and inside me. My body is buzzing with his magic, and my mind is somehow full of his mind. My arms are around him, holding him tightly, but it just feels right. I don't know if I could let go, even if I wanted to.

I tilt my chin up and look at him. He looks down at me, and feelings swirl through me, mine and his.

I even feel an echo of the pain when Eva smacks him on the side of his head.

"This is sickening, you two. Get yourselves under control, and then get out there and do what you need to."

I focus on her, feeling the rush of centuries of memories just under the surface of her consciousness. Feel her desperate love for the Thousand Master, and her growing awareness of his son.

She blinks and lurches towards me with her fist rushing towards my face.

"Get out of my mind you little… yaaa!"

She screams when I grab her wrist and flip her high in the air over my shoulder.

I stare down at my hand, feeling the echo of my new strength, and a swelling feeling of pride from Negi.

I smile at him. I think that I can be his partner after all.

It doesn't take us long to get outside. We rush past the others out onto the small part of Evangeline's lawn that's still inside the shrinking wards.

I look up at the girl. She's young, maybe our age.

And maybe she struggles a bit to keep me out of her mind, but it doesn't work.

I feel the desperation that led her to come here.

And I rip her understanding of the wards out of her mind, along with some diagrams and schematics. I think I hear her howl in pain, but I feed the knowledge on to Negi.

His magic aura snaps out.

He targets the weakest rune in the ward and a huge lance of light burns through it like a knife.

The second, third, fourth, and fifth wards soon follow.

And the girl from the future flees, disappearing in a flash of light.

I run my hand over Negi's where it's holding his staff, and give him a bright smile.

"I knew you'd do it, Negi-kun."

"I couldn't have…"

I know he's saying more, but my head starts to spin, and my ears ring. I thought I was done with fainting for the day. I just wanted to spend some more time with my…

When I wake up, it's night time. I'm in my bed at the dorms.

The feeling of connection I had with Negi isn't there anymore. There's a huge hole inside me where he was before. I can feel he's there, somewhere. He certainly isn't dead. But I just don't feel connected anymore.

I'd think what happened was a dream, but Yue is sitting looking at me with sadness in her eyes.

I start to cry.

Not sobbing, but tears gather in my eyes, and then stream down my cheeks.

I'm supposed to be stronger than this now, but it's just too much.

I know that we saved everyone, but just how much did everyone loose?

* * *

Author's Notes:

Eva might seem a bit mean here. But she's spent the last few years training her cute apprentice alone, and now, all of a sudden, she has to hand him off to Nodoka. So yes, she's resenting her, and it's making her grumpy.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 – Business as Usual**

**

* * *

  
**

I'm still in my pyjamas when Asuna comes to get us.

"We've got to talk. All of us, and especially people who used to have a contract with Negi."

"Give us a minute or two," Yue says quietly. "Unlike some people, we aren't usually up this early in the morning."

I pull on my bathrobe and head just down the corridor to the other room.

Negi has seen me in all states before, and now, well it doesn't really matter, does it? I do my best to feel resolute, but to tell the truth, I don't feel like I got enough sleep at all. I'm also not sure... Are pyjamas really ok?

I'm also still dealing with a lingering feeling that yesterday was a dream, and it hasn't really happened at all. I'll just end up being haunted by the memory of those few perfect minutes when Negi and I…

Eeeee… if it was a dream, my imagination is very strong. My feelings of being so close to Negi…

But Asuna just said 'people who used to have contracts with Negi'. So I guess the other provisional contracts have been broken.

And did I really throw Evangeline over my shoulder?

Oh dear.

I felt so strong yesterday, for just a little while, but now it seems that I'm back to feeling like a normal sort of me. It seems that the normal sort of me worries that Evangeline might be a bit angry at having been tossed aside like a bag of laundry. Oh, and of course, having her mind read.

Maybe I can count on Negi to defend me?

I hold my book up in front of my face. I think I just turned red. What was I thinking?

Anyway, I shuffle along to their room, knock on the door quietly, and go in.

It looks like a council of war, in their room. At least Asuna looked like it was a council of war. Konoka and Setsuna seemed pretty calm. Happy even.

Yue, Haruna, and I sit down.

"Alright," says Asuna, "we're going to have to come up with some stories pretty quick, don't you think?"

"Could we pretend that Negi left, and got replaced by Nagi?" Haruna asks. "Although that might cause some problems with the other girls who like Nagi."

"I thought that I could disguise myself in my younger form, so it wouldn't be obvious at all that anything had happened," says Negi.

Negi.

I think maybe I'm staring at him. He's sitting on the floor on the opposite side of the room.

I'm still not used to his older form yet. It's a bit hard to take.

Before, it was every once in a while that I looked at Negi-sensei and he looked mature and cool. The rest of the time he was, well, sort of cute.

Now he's cute and mature and cool, all at once.

He just smiled over at me. I'm sure I must be lit up like that reindeer with the glowing nose. He's blushing a bit too now.

I think that everyone in the room can probably hear my heart beating.

Asuna grabs his ear, and I manage to concentrate again.

Focus, Nodoka! This is important, right?

"And look, Negi-baka, no more pervy behaviour from you, alright?" Asuna raises her voice, shouting straight into his ear.

"Before, well it was one thing because you were a little boy. So that was embarrassing, but not too bad. Now you're our age, and interested in girls, and you're probably already having all sorts of thoughts you shouldn't be."

"Ahhh, Asuna, I'm not really that…" Negi stammered.

"Shut it! Now if we see you in the baths, or anywhere you shouldn't be, I'm not going to hold back! And if I hear that you've been taking advantage of the girls in the class who don't know you're older now…" she cracks her knuckles in a threatening way.

He bows his head a bit. "I'm sorry, this is quite troublesome for all of you," he says. "Believe me, if there had been any way we could think of that would have got us around the…"

"Asuna is such a spoil sport. I was looking forward to seeing everything that this new Negi…"

"Haruna! Don't encourage him!"

"Asuna, this is about me and what I want to see, it isn't about what he wants at all!"

I try to raise my voice and get people to quiet down, but as usual, I get drowned out by all the others.

Negi sighs, and holds his head in his hands. It looks like he didn't get much sleep, the poor boy. Maybe I could rub his back, and make him…

Oh no… I hope he didn't hear any of that thought at all. What was I thinking?

Well, I know exactly what I was thinking, that's the problem.

Bad Nodoka! Stop it! Stop it!

I think of the economics section in the library. Phew… ok… macro economics, micro economics, face back under control, no more blushing.

Me, crouched over Negi, massaging his bare back…

Yeeeeee! No!

Ummm…

I'm distracted by Asuna.

"And you, Nodoka!"

"Ummm… ummm… yes?"

"We don't want you spending any time alone with Negi. Who knows what sort of things he could get you to do through that link? And he's so much stronger than you now…"

Asuna leans forward toward me and whispers "He might turn back into that Kiss-Terminator again, and you wouldn't be able to do a thing."

"But, Asuna, I do want to spend some time talking with Nodoka, you know," Negi says, "We have a lot to discuss." He still looks a bit downcast.

I try to stifle the jealous part of my mind that thinks back to the Kiss-Terminator incident and insists that I really should have been the one he kissed, not her. And I really, really make sure that I ignore the other part of my mind that's insisting that I actually wouldn't want to stop him.

I clear my throat, and take a deep breath.

"Please, I need time to talk with Negi-sensei," I say, quite loudly, cutting through the other discussions.

I can't stop myself from bowing my head and apologising right afterward.

But Negi-kun is right, we need time to talk. I want to spend time with him. Lots more time.

Asuna sighs.

"Look, we can't just have you two doing that! If anyone at all finds out that you're in some sort of relationship, even if it is a freaky magical one that neither of you really wanted, then Negi will be fired for sure."

"Totally apart from the fact that it would reveal to everyone else that magic was real." Haruna added. "I don't think Negi wants to spend the next 30 years as an ermine."

"Really, I believe that Asuna is right," Konoka adds. "My grandfather would probably be forced to follow school regulations, even if there were some extenuating circumstances."

"But on the other hand, let's try to arrange something, right?" Konoka looks across at Negi, and then at me, with a gentle smile on her face.

"Look at them, they're going to be so cute together, aren't they?" she asks the room in general.

I'm already blushing at that when I meet his eyes. He blushing too, and that only makes me feel more… more… self-consciously happy.

"Well, could we meet somewhere public, and have people watching us?" Negi asks.

"But where could you legitimately be talking with her?"

"Can we videotape for wide distribution?"

"No."

"Sell the movie rights?"

"No!"

…

A great deal of discussion followed. To tell the truth, I didn't really try to follow that much. I just knew that instead of having time when I could really talk with Negi-kun, we were going to have some sort of supervised visiting hours, and it was just going to make me feel uncomfortable.

And knowing that everyone was going to be listening didn't make me feel any better.

And then there was Yue, and others I guess. Asuna was dealing with things in her way, I guess, but that didn't mean that other people wanted to have to stand and watch us talk with each other. I had to think of that. Whatever hurt I might have because of the unexpected situation, other people had suffered something far worse. Negi had sacrificed years of his life to training, to save us. All of the others had to give up on Negi, and watch shy, hopeless, weak Honya become a life partner of someone important to them, just because I happened to have the right ability at the right time.

So I think that I have to do the very best that I can as his partner.

Anything less, and it would be like I was taking it for granted. That I didn't value what I had with Negi-sensei.

Suddenly, I'm struck with inspiration.

"Umm… umm… could we maybe talk somewhere in the library?" I ask. "It isn't likely that anyone else would be there, and if someone found us I could be getting tutored in something."

"That's true, and we can be there to watch as well, without it being obvious or strange," said Konoka with a grin.

"Hmmm… Yes, yes, that's true," Haruna nodded her head. "Also, as one of the Library Rangers, Nodoka will receive a power up from being around so many books."

Asuna cradled her head in her hands. I suspect that she wasn't entirely happy with that comment, because being included and expected to understand it made her seem like a bit of a RPG weirdo.

So it was settled. I was to meet with Negi-sensei to talk for a half hour after school today in the Library.

And then we went and got ready for school.

It was strange, to go through the day. The rest of the class acted just as before. There were normal daily activities happening like squabbling over Negi, and shouting out questions to him.

He was back to looking like he was 10 years old again. It looked right because that's the age I was used to him being but it felt wrong, because somehow I could tell that things weren't quite right with him.

As it grew closer to the end of the day, my heart started to pound, because I was going to get to talk to Negi. At the same time though, there was a tiny dark part of me that resented it. Half an hour wasn't enough. I wanted to be along with him for hours and hours. Days even. Weeks or maybe months. Nothing could be enough time to have with him.

And I didn't really want everyone listening in.

Of course now, sitting at a table deep in the library across from Negi, things were a bit harder.

We both had textbooks open in front of us. Konoka had prepared a little tray with some tea on it, which I was thankful for.

My throat felt parched.

I twiddled my fingers a bit.

"Umm… so, how long did you train for, Negi-sensei?"

"About 1000 days, I think. That was the total we were aiming for. It's a bit hard to tell exactly though, because we were moving back and forwards between time compression rooms inside other time compression rooms."

"Yes, I'd thought that it was by nesting the rooms that he was able to…"

"SHHHHH!" Asuna says. "We aren't supposed to be here, remember Yue?"

My head drops a little, I think.

Sure enough, there are about ten of the other girls sitting at tables around ours, listening in.

Negi clears his throat.

"It must have been a very difficult day for you, Nodoka-san," he says. "From being injured to becoming my partner…"

TWEET!

Asuna holds up a yellow flag with a whistle in her mouth.

"That's a warning, Negi! Explaining away what you mean by 'Partner' would be difficult to explain if someone overheard it, and it sounds a bit weird too," she says, glaring at him.

"But she is his partner now, you can't deny that," Setsuna says in an aside to Konoka.

TWEET!

"Set-chan, no mention about that! Ixnay on the Artnerpay! That's your first warning!"

"Well, should we think up some sort of code word to use then? Something like 'helping with homework' so that they can discuss it and not be given a penalty?" Konoka asked.

"That's a great idea, Konoka-sama," Setsuna gushes.

I wonder if they'll get Chamo to do a pactio for them now?

I looked across the table at Negi-sensei through my bangs. He was twitching every time Asuna blew the whistle.

"Ah, Nodoka-san, I'm sorry that you had to become… ummm… 'help with homework' on such short notice," he says to me, looking over and meeting my eyes.

His eyes are so nice.

"Ah… ah, sorry! Ummm… I'm sorry… that one of the other girls couldn't … umm… 'help with the homework' instead," I say.

I can't meet his eyes.

TWEET!

"Negi, if you think we went to all this trouble just so you can sit and talk about homework, you're totally mistaken!" Asuna shouts.

"Look, we're just using the code you wanted us to," he says back.

"What code?" she asks, scratching her head.

"You know, saying 'helping with homework' instead of 'partners'," clarifies Setsuna.

TWEET!

Asuna holds up the yellow flag, and then a red one.

"Setsuna, you'll have to leave the library. That's you second mention of 'partner'."

"But…"

TWEET!

"No arguing with the referee!"

…

…

Negi suddenly shoots to his feet, knocking the chair over behind him.

He grabs my hand, I feel a surge of magic and vertigo, and…

We're standing on top of the school building.

He bows to me.

"I'm really sorry, Nodoka-san," he says. "But I wanted to talk, and…"

He sighs.

I reach out, and touch his arm.

Gently.

"It's ok, Negi-sensei," I say. "It was difficult, wasn't it?"

"They'll come looking for us soon. Do you mind at all if we, ummm… take my broom and fly somewhere? I promise I won't be forward at all!"

'I trust you, Negi-sensei," I say, looking down. I expect I'm blushing. "Please, let's go."

So I end up sitting across his staff side-saddle, with him holding onto me, soaring up into the afternoon sky.

"Negi-sensei?"

"Yes?"

"Could you drop your illusion?" I ask, having to raise my voice a bit over the wind. "I'd… like to see what you look like now."

"Of course, Nodoka-san." He replies with a grin, and his outline shivers, and fades.

We fly onwards.

Hwa… my Negi, he's beautiful. He's not such a little boy now.

I'm maybe not so much a big sister type. I'm just a girl now, and he's a boy.

I think… I think maybe I can understand why they didn't want us to be on our own. My thoughts aren't so ladylike, maybe. And now maybe his thoughts aren't completely those of an English Gentleman.

I'm not sure I would mind that.

Bad, bad Nodoka!

"Are you cold, Nodoka-san?" he asks. "I'll put up a wind shield, and a heating charm."

I don't think I was trembling because of the cold. Because his arm is around me, holding me on the staff as we fly.

Soon after, Negi-sensei lands on the top of a high cliff, overlooking a forest.

"Hmmm…" he taps his lips, and then with a flourish, conjures up a picnic blanket for us to sit on.

I smile over at him.

He's so thoughtful.

Is that a bit of a blush I can see on his cheeks?

"So, ummm… Nodoka-san," he starts off. "I hope everything is ok… you didn't have much of a chance to even think about what happened yesterday. I'm sorry."

"I think things are ok, Negi-sensei," I reply. "And you didn't have much time to think either, did you?"

"Actually, because of our planning, and the time compression, I had a pretty good idea that I was going to have a full contract with you for about six months before I actually made the contract."

"Oh!"

"I have to admit, I was pretty hesitant at first. I didn't want to force you into it, and I didn't think it was really fair to do it, for you or for the others."

"But?" I ask. What changed his mind then?

"Well, T-sensei told me to think back on things I remembered about you, to get a better idea of what your reaction would be to it."

He flushes a bit, sitting on the picnic blanket with me.

"I thought back to… well, when you confessed. And our date at the school festival."

I'm pretty sure I'm blushing. At least… those are things that I think of as well.

"But I also thought of some of the other times when we were just talking with each other, and other times when you supported me."

He sighs.

"But everything is a bit mixed up now. Instead of… well… dating, we've been thrown into the middle of… well… you know."

"But… Negi-sensei… you could… date with others… couldn't you?" It hurts me to ask him, but I do it anyway.

"I… I don't think I'd want that, Nodoka-san. I've read some books about the full partner bond, and I don't think it would be fair."

"O..Oh," I stammer. "Why?"

"Maybe it would be best for you to read the books too. Umm… some of it is sort of embarrassing, I would think."

"Oh…"

I think I've just turned red, but I don't think I'd turn down a book to read or three. Maybe I'd want to hide them from the others though.

"A…also, Nodoka-san… although it wouldn't be possible right now… but I think…"

Negi clears his throat.

"I… I think that probably when I'm not longer your teacher, that maybe… probably… at that time I'll confess to Nodoka-san as well."

I think my heart has done a back flip.

I think my stomach has tied itself into a knot.

My head is swimming.

But I don't think I've ever been happier.

In my whole life.

And then he leans over to me, and I feel his lips barely brush against my cheek.

We sit on the picnic blanket, watching the sun set.

Not too deep inside me, there's a Nodoka who's running around waving her arms with her eyes shut. She's making a loud, loud squealing noise. Negi-kun has just kissed me.

It was him, kissing me.

On the cheek, but I understand that too. He's being a gentleman, and I love him even more for it.

I've just turned red again.

I sneak a peek over at him, reach over, and cover his hand with mine. He looks over, and we smile.

If people melted from contentment, I would be a puddle.

I think that, even when we go back…

Asuna will punch Negi.

Everyone will talk like I'm not there.

They'll probably claim that he forced himself on me.

They'll probably ask how it was.

And it'll be painful, and embarrassing, and I'll want to hide until it all goes away.

But I'll have this feeling inside me.

A big warm sun of contentment will be hidden in my chest, shining light everywhere inside me. No matter what happens, I'll always know that for Negi-kun, I am somehow special.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

I had intended, once upon a time, to continue this. I think Nodoka is a great character. But after reading most of the manga that was available at that point in a crazed marathon (about the first 200 chapters) I sort of went off it. It's a bit 'harem with no end in sight', and I sort of prefered it when the focus was on a smaller number of characters for the main story arc.

Anyway, you could sort of say that I'm intending to look at some of the themes in this in 'Cunning Like a Fox' which is a Naru/Hina story. If I ever get around to writing more of that. Jeeze.


End file.
